Friday, July 28, 2006

Response to "Dan from Salem"

Comment in response to the July 23rd comment:
Dear Abbie "Ryan",
While your struggles deal with a child who will not stop eating, I have a child who doesnt want to eat. I think she might be anorexic (sp). What do you suggest?
Dan from Salem

Dear Dan from Salem,
I bet you have a girl don't you? And if I may go out on a limb, your daughter probably has a very controlling mother too, am I right? I have seen this many times. She probably doesn't even let her watch TV, does she?
Here's what I would do. First, start drinking heavily, preferably a nice amber ale. Second, take your daughter to the store and let her pick out any carbohydrate she would like (I would start in the doughnut section, but chip are also acceptable). And then finally, sit down in front of ESPN with your daughter and don't let her leave until she has gained 15 to 20 pounds. I don't think that she will want to leave anyway. (If you are desparate you can start her on bon bons and Oprah, but make the switch to ESPN within a week).
Good luck, and godspeed.


Nicole said...

hahahah. Do you know Dan?

Ok guys--- i'm waiting for more updates on your blog. I told you, Heather, that'd I'd read it! :)

Love the pics of the kids. They're so cute!

heather said...

FYI... Dan is our brother-in-law, married to Ryan's older sister. Their daughter is just 4 weeks older than Sawyer. (so much for animosity, sorry Dan from Salem)

nicole said...

OHh I get it now. Taegan, right? Got it. See, sometimes I get rude anonomous posts on my blog and it ticks the crap out of me... so I thought maybe that was the deal there... but anyway, this is a long comment. Funny post, Ryan. Love it.