O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

...O how I hate my Christmas Tree!

I've been putting off this post, in hopes that some of my bitterness would fade away, but I don't think that's happening anytime soon.
I hate our Christmas tree this year. Do you understand how depressing that is for me? Getting and decorating the tree are probably close to my favorite parts of this holiday, and now this year has been ruined for me.

Here's the story...










We set out Saturday morning to go on our "hunt". It was a beautiful day, sun shiny with a super light dusting of snow from the night before. It was COLD though, I don't think it got up to 30 degrees while we were out that morning. So of course, Savannah spent most of the time whining about how cold she was and how
far we were walking. Which of course made Ryan very grumpy. We hiked around for awhile, but we were very dissapointed in the tree selection. They were all pretty small or very mishapen. So when we were too tired of hearing Savannah whine anymore we decided to go back down to the road and pick one of the trees they had precut down there. We figured that's where all the good ones must be. So we pick the best one we could find and get it home and I was a bit frustrated it wasn't as fun a trip as I had hoped, but we had a tree.
So while the kids were napping, we brought the tree in and got it set up, realizing it doesn't look as nice as we had hoped. I don't like my Christmas trees to look like upside down pears. Let's just say we did a lot of work with the clippers. But the tree was in. And with that came a little rearranging of the living room. A few times. And more grumpyness on Ryan's part. And mine too by that point. I was frustrated because our living room is too narrow and our tree is ugly and nothing is going how I wanted it to go that day. Then we notice our tree was leaning more and more. We noticed the trunk seemed a little "soft" and it was having a hard time standing still in the tree stand. The screws to hold it in were just pretty much sinking into it. Since it continued to wobble the whole time we were putting the lights on, and we were thinking we do have a toddler running around who will probably be touching the tree a lot, Ryan anchored the tree to the wall. First day- tree in, lights on, standing fine and anchored to the wall.

The next day we decorate it. It's making me a little nervous because everytime we touch the tree, the whole thing seems to sway and shudder and after every ornament I put on, I step back to make sure it's still standing straight. That evening after we've done the "kid" ornaments, Ryan and I were putting the last of the glass balls and decorations on and at one point I lean in a little too close and the whole thing really was swaying. I realized it was only being held up by the line to the wall. And it was leaning very badly. So we attempt to restand it in the tree stand, but Ryan says the base is just too soft. So he gets some wood and he's down there trying to prop it up and stabilize it, but it's just no use. He says we have to take it down, recut the bottom, and cut off some of the lower branches to give him room to make a brace for it. But at that point it was late, and neither of us wanted to mess with is any more. So he reties it to the wall as well as on the other side, so it's basically being held up by two fishing lines. Day two- tree is resting in stand, tied to the wall, fully decorated and leaning obscenely to one side.

So yesterday we were supposed to "redo" the tree. But neither one of us were really looking forward to that, so we busied ourselves with getting our Christmas cards done and ignored the leaning tree in our living room. Day three- wasn't touched from day two.

So I'm sitting here hating our stupid mishapen lopsided leaning tree that can't even stand up on it's own. Needless to say, the kids and I aren't hanging out in the living room too much. I'm afraid one of those lines is just going to snap. And tonight we have to take it down and try to fix it. If we hadn't paid so much for it, I would just go out and buy a new one at the grocery store. That's where Savannah told me we should get it in the first place. Why didn't I listen to her?

Ironically, Savannah just came through the living room and in passing the Christmas tree said, "I just love our tree Mommy. Don't you love our tree? It's so pretty and sparkly and my favorite lights are the yellow ones."
How did she know I was writing about how very much I don't love our tree?
I guess I just need to relax and be okay with not having the perfect Christmas tree because it really doesn't matter... Savannah thinks it's beautiful (of course she thinks my pink floor-to-ceiling-tiled bathroom is beautiful, so lets keep the eye of the beholder in mind) and isn't that what so many of our Christmas traditions are about? The magic that our children find in it?
Here's a picture of the one time Savannah was smiling at the tree farm. The farmer had given her a Dum-Dum and that made all the cold and tired feet all better!

I'll post a pic of our poor tree as soon as we get it actually standing and presentable.