Tuesday, December 12, 2006

In response to a comment on the last post... no Sawyer didn't say anything. The only thing coming out of his mouth was yelling and crying. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw him that upset. He was having a hard evening anyway and that's why I pulled out the movie. He hasn't watched it in a long time because we had left it at the Robertson's house when we visited them in October and we finally got it back just last week. But he had had a hard day and when he saw me pull it out, he almost started crying tears of joy. (Did we mention he loves that video?) So he plopped right down in front of the tv with a huge sigh of relief. But he was not so relieved after a minute or two when it wouldn't go past the menu. He finally got up and started hitting the tv like he was trying to unstick a broken record. And he started crying and yelling over the first few seconds of some of his favorite music which was the menu that was just repeating over and over and never getting to his precious video. He was confused and so frustrated and tired and DONE with his day. And I was done as well. It had been a long day for all of us; naptime was a bust all the way around and at that point I was trying to get some dinner on the table for the kids but Savannah was whining that she was hungry and wanted her daddy (who was playing basketball after work) and Sawyer was falling apart at everything. So while we had searched for the missing remote only the day before and came up with nothing, I turned the house upside down looking for it once again. With Sawyer following me around crying and dragging his froggy. It was a pretty sad sight. And still no remote.

But back to the point...
Sawyer's still really not saying anything. Well, I guess that's not true. He says daddy pretty much all the time. And I was just thinking today that I think he has his own word for Savannah... it comes out like "NON" but he's been saying it a lot and I think it's usually directed at his sister. He even said it when we drove up to Savannah's school to pick her up today. But that's about it for spoken words. He still won't say hi or bye or mama or dog or anthing else. We'll say dada back and forth for a bit and then I'll say "can you say mama... ma-ma!" and Sawyer will just laugh at me every time. He pretty much just laughs anytime we try to get him to say anything. He gets this look on his face like, "duh... of course I can, if I wanted to, but you can't make me..."
He is signing more now at least. He was signing quite a bit and then all of a sudden he stopped and he started getting into this bad habit of whining/grunting and pointing to things that he wanted. I had forgotten how much that bothers me when toddlers just do the "uh- uh- uh-" when they want something. I know toddlers can't comprehend manners and they can't techinically be "rude" but it really does just sound so rude, you know? I realized that I don't think Savannah ever really went through that phase, as she was always trying to get her point across to us by signing or motioning or trying to get us to understand what she couldn't say outloud, rather than demanding or getting frustrated. Anyway, lately Sawyer's been doing the "uh- uh- uh-" and getting mad and yelling in front of the snack cupboard or when he needs more lunch on his plate or when he needs help with a toy, and so we've been making a point of trying to nip that in the bud. We've been signing big-time with him, ignoring his grunts and demands and helping him "tell" us what he wants; reinforcing the signs for MORE, CRACKER, DRINK, HELP, ALL DONE, etc. The grunting seems to be subsiding and he's remembering to use signs he knows again the last day or so.

Here are a few shots of the SawMan today. We were just hanging out in his bedroom reading books and he was being super silly. His new favorite spot to hang out is in the rocking chair -by himself. If I try to put him on my lap in the chair he just jumps right out and tries to push me out of the chair. He likes to rock himself, but I also think he likes to be up there because he can see out the window and see the dogs in the yard next door.

So here are the sillier shots...

and are you ready for this one?....
(you should click on it to get the full effect)

then he was just trying to attack me

I know I'm no great photographer, but I love pictures of my kids. I know these pictures are nothing great, but they are so Sawyer.
I'm trying not to let these pictures get to me today. My friend Nicole belongs to a scrapbooking website/community and one of the girls on there had a little two-year-old girl suddenly pass away yesterday. I don't know this family at all, but I followed Nic's links and read the threads on Sarah and her family and their loss of little Teegan, and it is just such a heartbreaking thing to even think about. So sudden, so shocking, so incredibly sad.
After I ever hear about any family who experiences a loss like this, especially a sudden thing like this, it shakes me up a little. I hold my husband and my kids just a little tighter and a little longer. And when I look at pictures like these... just the everyday stuff, my kids being who they are... playing with each other, with their dad, with other family members, laughing and even pouting... sometimes after hearing about families like Sarah's, it makes me cry because I find myself thinking "what if these were the last memories I had of my kids? What if these were the last pictures I ever took of this face, of these laughing eyes, of this amazing little person? What if someday these pictures are all I have left?"
I can't even begin to imagine how Sarah must feel, and that she's now looking at all the pictures of her baby girl around her because she no longer has her little girl to hold. My heart goes out to their family and I just pray that they can find some sort of peace in the midst of all this.
I pray that I never take my family for granted and that I always know that I am so blessed to be able to have them and enjoy them for as long as I have that privilege.


Nic said...

First, Sawyer is such a ham! Love those pictures- he's such a happy little guy.

Second- I know exactly what you mean about the pictures. Teegan has been on my mind since yesterday when I read about her passing. I looked through P's pictures, and vowed that I'd never feel guilty or stupid for "taking too many pictures" because, really, in the end that is what is left... the pictures and the memories. And the pictures bring the memories to life, so why should I ever feel bad when my husband complains that I never put the camera down, or I take too many pictures.

I cried numerous times last night, just being scared to leave P in his bed at night. I kept going in to check on him, picking him up and rocking him. My heart breaks for people who have lost their children. And Sarah had lost her stepson just a few years ago... she posted her slideshow on SJ last year or something like that. How horrible to lose not only one child but two?!

Mom,Gramma G said...

So glad that rocking chair is still getting used,I hope Sawyer learns to share it better though.:) Afterall it was yours first,for Savannah .I fondly remember rocking her to sleep while lullabies played.She was just a little burrito then. When she was big enough she would climb up and rock har "babies" and read to them and say those silly little prayers"Dear Jesus..Amen!" with EACH baby!My dad loved his rocking chair too,and I remember him rocking and reading to you.Thank You Lord for special memories of loved ones. Thank You Heather for the goofy pics of the Sawman.I can't even express how my heart breaks for Sarah's loss.I hope she knows the Lord is there wanting to comfort her.I don't know how else you would make it. XOXO

Leslie said...

Heather, Your tree looks great!!! Also, the pictures of Sawyer are adorable. I read Nic's blog this morning and my heart went out to Teegan's family. It made me sick to my stomach to read about her even though I have no clue who she is. What an awful thing to go thru.

On a better note, let's do cookies next week. Pick a day, just not Wednesday. Talk to you soon.