tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post2313201798204044725..comments2023-08-29T04:55:41.215-05:00Comments on Life as we know it...: Another Thursdayheatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12585727879797305803noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-76775751788169288082007-07-08T21:29:00.000-05:002007-07-08T21:29:00.000-05:00I am also in the bedtime routine camp. I need my ...I am also in the bedtime routine camp. I need my time in the evening without kids. Being a stay-at-home mom, I am ready for bedtime at around eight o'clock, and sometimes sooner. <BR/><BR/>Grace, now 11, and Ethan, now 8, do stay up later, but during the school year they are to be in bed at 8 p.m. and they can read for up to an hour. <BR/><BR/>As they get older, they'll stay up later and then sleep later in the morning. When school is out they go to bed at 9 and can still read for an hour. But I will confess that it is a challenge to have them in bed by that time. Then we hit the sleeping in. I think they shouldn't sleep past 9 a.m. in the summer. It seems too lazy. But that's another topic too.<BR/><BR/>We are kind of in two separate families, it feels like sometimes. I remember when my first two were young, you organized your life around nap times. Now Gertie, 16 months, gets shorted often because the bigger kids have activities going on during her naptime sometimes. That is hard, and if I could work around it, I would--and sometimes we can.<BR/><BR/>But on the whole, I like to put Gertie to bed early and have some time to ourselves.<BR/><BR/>I have a sister that works full time, and she falls into the category of no bedtime at all. Too many times I was over there until they would drop on the floor or some other place. She also lets them watch tv to fall asleep. I always hated that when we stayed over because my kids don't do that, and the tv just keeps them awake. It would be midnight, and I'd check on them, and my kids would be the ones wide awake watching some horrible late night cartoon.<BR/><BR/>I did notice that my patience always ran out at about 7 p.m. If they weren't getting ready for bed, I was getting crabby, but my sister was so patient and fun, even into the late hours. She worked a long day. I could never figure out how she did that.<BR/><BR/>On crying it out until they comfort themselves to sleep, I'm all for that too. We didn't do that with Grace, and she never went to bed without us rocking her to sleep or laying in bed with her. That was hard. <BR/><BR/>With Ethan, I had to let him cry it out. I was busier, more tired, and he was grumpier anyway. I was used to the screaming. What I learned, though, was that once he got over the hump, he liked to go to bed, he asked for it often, and it paid off in years of easy bedtimes. <BR/><BR/>We did the same thing with Gertie. It is hard to listen to crying, but it pays off. She still cries for a minute or two sometimes, but then she settles down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-86180378177957173622007-07-08T10:34:00.000-05:002007-07-08T10:34:00.000-05:00We are pretty good about starting Lukas' bedtime r...We are pretty good about starting Lukas' bedtime routine between 8-830. We give him a bath every night, brush teeth, he lays in his bed while lights are dimmed and kids bible songs play in background and I read him a book. He falls asleep sometime around 900, which is later than some of the other kids, but also sleeps until 8-830. Sometimes even later, like today it was 930. I'm sure once we have to get up earlier in the morning and on those days that we do, we make sure he gets to bed earlier. I think for a child thats not is school yet, you can play with what time you want them to go bed, as long as they get enough sleep. Lukas sleeps about 11-12 hours at night, he just doesn't have to wake up as early as some toddlers like at 7 or so. I don't think it will be a hard adjustment either later one, just like changing daylight savings or changing timezones. Tony and I are night owls so we are usually up until 1130, so there is still a couple hours at night that we get our alone time.LeeAnn | {froggyleggs}https://www.blogger.com/profile/04934120675935878372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-38754330062373573992007-07-07T10:17:00.000-05:002007-07-07T10:17:00.000-05:00Oh heck yeah, he has a bedtime - for us AND him!I ...Oh heck yeah, he has a bedtime - for us AND him!<BR/><BR/>I totally believe that growing and learning are the most exhausting things kids go through so sleep is so, SO important.<BR/><BR/>Morgan goes to bed at 7:30 every night and I go in and get him every morning between 7 and 7:30. He's always awake and usually just playing with his zoo of stuffed animals. <BR/><BR/>He also naps 2.5 - 3 hours in the day which may seem like alot of sleep but holy crap, if you saw how much energy he has when he's awake, you'd understand why!!<BR/><BR/>Kids need the sleep and parents need some grown up time!Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15935839277974439940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-1292778718109110592007-07-07T09:17:00.000-05:002007-07-07T09:17:00.000-05:00Heather-I just read your blog and yes...you're so ...Heather-<BR/><BR/>I just read your blog and yes...you're so right about the bed time....I remember when I was having trouble w/ Donnie bedtime..naps..ect...the WHOLE bit!! You let me read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child....I did exactly what it said, their whole schedule plan & amazingly it worked like a GEM! I would highly recommend that book for any parent struggling w/ the sleep issues.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-39466716708497578272007-07-07T05:49:00.000-05:002007-07-07T05:49:00.000-05:00I need to DRAG my husband to the computer to read ...I need to DRAG my husband to the computer to read this post & comments! YES kids need bedtimes & routines-ALWAYS! Ok, take that back...once in a great while to relax the bedtime is ok if you can compensate for it w/ a nap or serious down-time. I have 3 children ages 13, 5 1/2 & 3 1/2 & thier bedtime is 8:00. After a full year of the same routine-there is still no true success! If they are in bed before 9:30 4 out of 7 nights I feel like a champ! <BR/><BR/>My battles: <BR/>A) No constant spousal support on the 'bedtime routine'. "They are just kids, let them be kids!" Ok but not @ 10:00 @ night on a work/school night! <BR/>B) Cut the naps shorter @ daycare-they have a bedtime & don't need 2-3 hr naps! <BR/>I am the Bedtime Nazi who is nagging the poor kids every night & they are running amok like crazy! It would be Super Nanny's nightmare job-ha!<BR/><BR/>Great TFT Heather! I couldn't agree more whole heartedly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-32084000165002431742007-07-06T09:30:00.000-05:002007-07-06T09:30:00.000-05:00I second the opinion with older kids needing a bed...I second the opinion with older kids needing a bedtime also. When I was growing up until 6th grade my bedtime was 8pm. Then "middle school" bedtime was 9pm. And then in 9th grade highschool bedtime was 10pm. LOL. All my friends made fun of me but I thank my parents for it because I never fell asleep in class! And Joss will thank me too. Er...maybe. HAHAMacKenzie Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02050310324576576098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-22429603023624036312007-07-06T08:58:00.000-05:002007-07-06T08:58:00.000-05:00I don't have kiddos yet, but I can tell you from b...I don't have kiddos yet, but I can tell you from being an elementary teacher, that YES, kids DO need bedtimes that are before 9pm. Teaching 4th graders and looping with them next year to 5th, I KNOW most of them have a bedtime of 8:30-9 pm because I ASK them! If they are cranky, moody, etc. I will ask them when they went to bed last night and sure enough, most times they say around 10 or after because of this, this, and this excuse. <BR/><BR/>Kids NEED a lot of sleep. I have one girl in particular who I know their parents don't give her a bedtime, and at least 3 out of 5 school days, she will fall asleep sometime during the day. And when I ask the parents about it, they say, well, we put her in her room around 9:30 or so...I ask them, "Do you have a routine with her?" If not, she can stay up as late as she wants because she doesn't know how to calm her body down to go to sleep! In my head with these parents I am thinking..."she is below reading level for 5th grade! Can't you at least read for 20 minutes with her before leaving the room?". <BR/><BR/>They told me that NO, they don't have a routine. Even older kids NEED a routine to get their bodies to rest and get a good night's sleep. <BR/><BR/><BR/>Even our dog, Jack, has a bedtime.... 9 pm! Ha! :) Mike and I like the time to ourselves too! I'll have to let you know about bedtimes when Mike and I have kiddos!K.M.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00992199957047847768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-87484207163358628322007-07-06T08:41:00.000-05:002007-07-06T08:41:00.000-05:00Jocelyn definitely has a bedtime too. She starts g...Jocelyn definitely has a bedtime too. She starts getting sleepy around 8:30ish so most of the time Jeff and I put her in her swing. She loves it. And by 9-9:30 she is asleep or close to it which then we transfer her to her crib. <BR/><BR/>I prefer that she stays up a bit later just so Jeff can see her after work for a few hours like you said K's parents "excuse" was but then she also sleeps in until 9am every morning. And then she usually takes a 30 minute nap at 11:30, another longer one at 3, and very rarely one around 6pm (depending on how busy our day has been) <BR/><BR/>Jeff and I are both night owls so we get a good 3 hours of us time after she goes to bed and we each get 8-9 hours of glorious sleep at night too. I wish we could do the bath, book, bed routine but Joss loves her bath so much she gets all excited about it and it in no way calms her down for bed. LOL. I've even tried the Calming Bath Wash...and then she just smells like lavender but is still a fiesty little thing. HAHA! <BR/><BR/>I feel that since she gets to sleep in she is getting enough sleep but if I had to get her up early to go to work, I would definitely start setting the bedtime clock back to 7:30-8. Since I had a preemie I was instructed by her Peditrician (Dr. Humayun) that if she cries at night, she needs something. Preemie's don't usually wake and cry for nothing until after their duedate. Then they pretty much "come alive". It's so cool. From Nov-Jan I had to set my alarm every 3 hours because she wouldn't even wake up when she was hungry. So, I pretty much ran to her everytime she fussed but I was also on edge because we had a choking scare just 4 days out of the hospital where she vomited, turned purple, and we had to be rushed to the ER. Welcome to Mommyhood! <BR/><BR/>But now for the last few months if I hear her wake up in the middle of the night (I'm an extremely light sleeper) I just let her get herself back to sleep unless she is screaming/crying hard, which rarely happens. <BR/><BR/>And now I have an extremely well behaved rarely cries 7 month old who will lay in her crib for awhile in the morning and play/kick around/and sing to herself and goes to bed at a decent scheduled time each night. :)MacKenzie Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02050310324576576098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-48631975179647872652007-07-06T07:57:00.000-05:002007-07-06T07:57:00.000-05:00I can't seem to figure out how to edit my comment....I can't seem to figure out how to edit my comment...<BR/><BR/>I think one of the things that parents who don't have bedtimes for their kids struggle with is that they don't know how far to stick out the crying. Porter, during that "training" time, in the beginning would cry for almost an hour. Sometimes more, but it wasn't harming him- it hurt us to hear it more than it hurt him. And that period of crying was imperative to helping him figure out how to put himself to sleep and to learn that bedtime is bedtime. I think so many parents have "tried" to get their kids to bed at a decent time but chickened out, saying "Oh they cried too hard, they were gagging" or "They would just get worse, and never stop crying" Well, then, you didn't try long enough. Its like a tantrum, in a sense... if your toddler is throwing a tantrum, do you give in after a half our of tantrum and give them what they want "because they'll never stop crying for that toy at the store"? Or do you let them stick it out, finish their tantrum and in the end YOU get what you want- a non-tantruming child who learned their boundaries.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31050280.post-52211341093041663782007-07-06T07:49:00.000-05:002007-07-06T07:49:00.000-05:00OMG Heather I love that you wrote a 'your child ne...OMG Heather I love that you wrote a 'your child needs sleep to function' post when you yourself were about falling asleep at the keyboard. Too cool! HAHAH! You crack me up. <BR/><BR/>Ok, laughing aside (cause you know I'm a night owl too and stay up way too late)... Here is my opinion (and you already know it, but your readers might like to see extra comments)..<BR/><BR/>Porter most definitely has a bedtime... from the time he was about 3.5 months old, we had gotten his "bedtime" whittled down to around 8:30, even though he'd still wake at 11:30 and 2:30 for feedings. Once the night feedings ended around 4/4.5 months, he was on a great sleeping schedule... going to bed around 8/8:30 and sleeping for 12 hours at night. <BR/><BR/>And now, at 16 months old, he still has a bedtime. We have a routine, and I absolutely positively feel that his helps him transition more peacefully. We brush his teeth, pick out a book, dim the lights in his room and put on his music. We read his book, and then I usually (I don't know that Ryan does this) sit and rock with him for one song while we talk about our day and talk about what we're going to do the following day. (Ok, *I* talk to him... its not like a conversation HAHA!). By this point, he's relaxed and ready for bed and goes to sleep quietly.<BR/><BR/>On some nights when we're cranky or he's cranky and we just put him in bed without the routine, he fuses and cries to get to sleep. <BR/><BR/>It was not always this easy to get him to go to sleep on his own. We had to "train" him, and I'm sure this is where either a)parents with kid w/o bedtimes disagree with me or b)those parents just don't know how far to stick it out and hang in there. The "training" was basically the start of his "routine" for bedtime. From about 5 months or so we started his bedtime routine and would put him in bed. He would cry, of course, as he wasn't used to it. We'd pat his butt a little to reassure him, but in the end, it just took a week or two of him crying himself to sleep. <BR/><BR/>Yes, it was HARD to listen to, but would I take back that short period of crying for my last year of "adult only" evening times? HECK NO!! It was worth it, and now he's a great sleeper. Although yes there are nights where we hear him wake up and fuss, but he 90% of the time puts himself back to sleep and we don't even go into his room. <BR/><BR/>I am sure by my NOVEL you can see my stance... Kids need bedtimes... NORMAL bedtimes, not 10 or 11pm or later. In those cases, its really just the kids having the upper hand and the parents not persistent enough to get them to bed at a decent time. *as I duck to avoid any flying objects from other bloggers!!* <BR/><BR/>I can't wait to hear other opinions from "The Other Side". Its so hard for me to rationalize it, it'll be neat to hear exactly WHY these parents don't seem to mind their overtired children or their lack of adult time with themselves or their spouse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com